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Melisa.Bryan

Being Me.

It is not easy being me. I am sick of people who keep thinking that my life is too easy, i've got all i want by snapping my fingers.

Parents.

I have a perfect family, oh-so-cool parents and else. Yes, i LOVE my parents more than anything. And for me, they are the perfect mom and dad ever. Once when i was a child, i asked God to change my parents with one of my friend's parents. Her parents seems so cool, richer, bla-bla-bla. But another seconds i regret it so much. I took my prayers back and never did it again. okay, sometimes i"m not satisfied with what they done. i'm just an ordinary kid who always asked more than anything i've got. We all do, right??

I want a gold Sailormoon's card that my friend's had, i want a fancy kiddy pool, i want this and that and all. Maybe my parents can't or won't give me all of that for some reasons. i can't get it why that time, i was angry and disappointed. But i still knew somehow they'll never break me down. They're always do something cheer me up and makes me forget all those sadness by minutes.

But still they didn't give all of that easy way. I have to work on it, proofed them that i worth to received all of those things. i have to study 10 hours or more during my exams (high school) to proof that i can be the one they proud of. I wanna stand on the stage, get that bloody glassy-cup, paint a huge smile on their faces. I wanna make them proud of me. That time i did. And i didn"t get that for compliment, no. I squeeze my head for it. Until now, i still try to be one. Someone who can make them proud of what i've done.

Friends.

i have a lot of friends, well i guess. i know a lot of people and for now maybe i can call them "my friends". But best friends, i have a few of best friends. i didn't care about number here, because for me it didn't matter. Once or twice or what, i quarrelled with some people. We split up, huge ladies fight and else. i was broken and dying that time but time heals, eerr no, best friends healed me for sure. i learned a lot from that darkest hell. Sometimes we can't keep our friendship for some reasons. Maybe we're working on it, trying to make it works and stay still until we realized that it's a waste. Maybe me and them just didn't match and never be, so yaah, being away and living our life apart is the best thing we all could be done.

i'm just a human. i have tried to please everybody, trying to be nice here and there but sometimes i can't do that. I have my tired time when i just wanna be myself and i hope people understand me. Sometimes I love being alone. Maybe for some people this is damn weird, but i like that. i love when i had my free time alone, doing everything i like, treating myself as a king, and another things. well, lately i found that my kind (Taurus) are love to spend some times (hours or days) alone, enjoying their stuff. And i love having a great chat with my bestfriends. it heals me really. i have some great friends and i really really thanked God for them. it through quite a long road to figured it out so i'll never ever want to lose them for any reasons.

Love.

I'm in love. A different kind of love. Yes, i felt love before, during my junior high, high school, collage, and after. I already felt any kind of love feelings. Being loved, falling head over heels, crazy out-of-mind, pity love, or bla-bla-bla. I've been broken hearted so many times so i'm scared of falling in same old hole again. I'm a garbage can for some couples (well, i love being one. Because my bestfriends always brought me new stories that rich me day by day). Sometimes it makes me see a relationship as a big disaster, a monster. It's driving me crazy when i heard my friend having a huge fight with her bf just because a tiny things. i have no idea how to tell them that they're so lucky having someone who love and care about them anytime, anyday. i want to know how they'll deal with my "alone" day and have to take care of myself all the time. No sweet honey.

Now, i have one. Before this, i was a super naive girl who always dream about prince charming of my life. Perfect love, thousand roses, sweet things till diabetes, white castle, once a man loves you it'll be happily ever after. That easy.

But the real love thingy is far away from that. I used to blamed all Disney's Princess series which built me like this. My bf is thousand miles away from me. Some people easily said that it's my fault choosing a long distance relationship when actually i can choose another. i am not choosing candy, i mean please...Sometimes this distance kills me for sure, i'm a big-fat-liar if i say no. I have willing to kill people when i even can't hug my bf at the time i need him the most. But for me, this is worth it. He might not a super cool prince, he's not perfect, but i love him. He changed the way i'm thinking, to be a better person. I never realized it before. It is not because he changed me, it because i want to be a better person, and he supports me to be one. I know he's not perfect, so do i. And we just try to love each other perfectly. Working on all those things, pouring our hearts with those magic water, and make our loves grow stronger day by day. I love you L.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN people :)

HAPPY BOOOOOOLLOWEEN

Well, this year i'm not celebrating Halloween at all. Actually, i really wanna go to Halloween's party here, but me and my friends didn't do the preparation that well (costumes, place, or stuff) so i end up spend the day at home, watched dvd with friends till midnight (the dvd was Vampire Sucks, because i'm not a horror movie big fan, but it's totally SUCKS. Better sleeping than watching it :p).

But, even we're not celebrating Halloween, we bought this super cute Halloween themes glasses...oohh and stupid us, we forgot to wear it and take some photos...*boooo...

The Paper Glasses (skulls, bats, and pumpkins) are RMB 2/each

and The Glow in The Dark Heart Glasses is RMB 7. Cheapy cute :)

My Friday.

My Korean friend (classmate) invited me and some friends to her flat, we had a really nice dinner (cooked by herself) and some drinks. I love her room so much. It's so comfy and cute, she puts so many cute stuff here and there, made it super homey. We had a nice chat and played some games. It was FUN. I think i can practice my Chinese too.

After playing games, we decided to go to SanLiTun and find a nice place to do shisha, but strangely the Turkish bar is closed so we had to find another shisha bar. None of us was know the good place so we decided to chose a bar, stayed for an hour then back home.

i don't really like the bar thingy at SanLiTun but it was still fun because my friends are so funny, i laughed too much...What a great time :)

My Korean friend (Suah) cooked all the dishes. There's a Korean traditional food (red plate), it's so yummy :D

Suah is cooking the vegetables and tofu...

Suah really wanna wore the big gold bow and forced me to wore the devil...

clockwise: Kayley (Korean), Suah (Korean), Me, Hendy (Indonesian)

Took some photos before eat..

left-right: Syamil (Erkhistan - or somewhere), Hendy, Me, Suah

Syamil showed us his prom night photos, yess he's 18 now, same age with my brother.

- Sophea (Cambodia), Syamil, Kayley -

After 3 shots of Tequila and some glasses of white wine...

on me: Gap Kids red turtleneck, Zara navy blue trousers, Suah's oversized golden bow, Unbranded blue blazer, Mom's knit shawl.

My Winter Stuff

i have to be ready to say hi to Winter so i'm welcoming Winter with a few cute stuff...lol.

My first aid is gonna be my super comfy boots, i bought it long time ago at Senayan City, well actually my brother bought it and gave it to me because he can't wear it at Indo...And i remember that he bought it at the kids store (i forgot the store name, just remember the purple board out of the store...lol)

And finally i have my fluffy earplug... It's freezing out there so this fluffy will keep my ears stay at their place, not fall into the ground or something...:p

The last is my savior, the rechargeable warmer!!!

it is cute and warm, all i need now is something super warm for my feet and hands. Only cost RMB20 but it can save my night :D

*Anyway, there're some people requested me to do my outfit post or something, i'll post it later...And for the HK-Macau vacation's outfit, i'll added the info soon -> i'll edit the post so just check it out... See yaaa :)

Funderful 5 days :D

This month i had 8 days holiday because of The Independence Day of China, so me and my friends decided to go to Hong Kong - Macau for a lil vacation. We went to HK at 4th Oct until 8th Oct. Actually we also reached Macau at 5th Oct by ferry...And after all, the vacation was really really nice and super fun. I'm so excited, remembering this is my first vacation with my bf and off course i miss him so much after a month being away from him (i have to go back to China at 4th Sept to continue my study here). Anyway, i love love love Macau. Yea, the hotel speaks... We stayed at Venetian so after drowning ourself at the low-budget hotel at HK, Venetian looks so yummy...hahahaha...

well, let's the pictures told you all stories about my latest vacation :)

Our first stop is The Madame Tussaud's Museum...

And the hottest candle statue here is Beckham, oh well Christiano Ronaldo is also yumm but my face didn't go nice there so i pick Beckham :p

Having our dinner at Bubba Gump...

i got the special Halloween's drink which i can keep the glowy glass and spider ring...so cute :D

Hello Macau, hello venetian...

i LOVE the Grand Canal Shoppes...

Lovely Gondola..

You know, there's a myth, if you're a couple when the gondola's ride is come to an end and we pass the bridge, you have to kiss your couple under the bridge to make your love ever lasting...i found it sweet :D

I love this pic :D (inside our bathroom)

Visited the ruins of St. Paul Church

nice but too crowded here so we just took a few pics then go to find a meal...super hungry :p

At Mongkok :D

Times Square Causeway Bay....

i really wanna go to Lane Crawford but unfortunately it's CLOSED already :( so we just look around and eat some deli snacks...

Here we areeee : HONGKONG DISNEYLAND!!!

Actually, that was my second times visited HK disneyland, the first time was at Christmas 2007 so yesterday i felt a different aura...Well, its Halloween but still super cute there...i always love Disneyland :)

Super cute Halloween decoration near to Demon's Jungle :)

A Rapunzel (or i-don't-know-which-story) dragon

a special halloween decoration at HK Disneyland

The lovely characters Buzz Lightyear + Chip and Dale

well, i know my bf love Buzz, and i love this cuddly Chip and Dale in their cute Halloween costume...:D

As we know, i just can leave Disneyland without lovely or cute words because they really are...and i wish i could have another lovely holiday with my bf and friends...SOON :D

Mid Test Tomorrow...

i have my Listening and Speaking exams tomorrow. Absolutely in Chinese. So,

Just-KILL-me!!!

(This is exactly the way i wanna die, chocolate's overdose :p)

A Lil Hello From Beijing...

Well, hello again... It's 2.15 a.m and i can't sleep at all, so i decided to post something here...

Remembering that my last post was dusty enough now, me even forget when the last i wrote here... Seems like so long long time ago and i'm tired to say sorry again and again to "i-don't-know-who" because well, it's my blog so i guess i can write any time i want. But i still feel sorry about not posting it everyday...

So, i'm at Beijing now... DAMN bored, i guess blog is a nice escape to kill my "booo" time. And i decided to change my blog's name, here and there...Tried to make it a lil mature and simple.

Why "Chocogasm" ??

i LOVE LOVE LOVE Chocolates... The next list would be Coffee but choco always win. Chocolates make me HAPPY anytime...*even now, i'm eating my Reese's* :p

My Life.

Lately my life is sooo boring... Woke up at 7.30 a.m, go to school, back at 12, forced myself to swallowed yucky delivery foods again and again, noon nap until 6 or 7, food's delivery (again), study, msn or bbm until 2 a.m...

i know, please do yawn... But i'm too lazy to get my butt out of the war

my house, facing 5-15 degree out there. i chose my socks.

And seems like i'm a kind of person who can't let go "Holiday stuff".

i glued myself to that euphoria, i can't let all that fun, laugh, and happiness go. Back to my routine. I wish i could have a never ending holiday - that fun, that rush, that simple - yea, i know it's an impossible 5years old kid wish, but i did. i do wish about the same thing every time my holiday is near to the end.

i thought i learned about letting go stuff, but it didn't go well...i guess.

ooh, i'll share some photos from my last holiday (HK-Macau), *smile on

my face :D*

*angry face!!!!* The photos didn't go well... Sorry, no photos for today :(

And here i am, honestly i don't know what to write here...Just mumbling, i can't sleep. My insomnia getting worse these days...i am miffed about something i don't even know.

i MISS my best friends (we're separated at 4 different countries, hell yea...), i MISS my boyfriend - also thousand miles away from here :( - i MISS my family.. oh DAMN!

So many things annoyed me with complicated reasons.

but well, beside all those mumbles... i wanna say

"HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY"

to my beloved friend, Enrika Lirendra

All the best, May all your prays do come true

God bless you darling...