Parents.
I have a perfect family, oh-so-cool parents and else. Yes, i LOVE my parents more than anything. And for me, they are the perfect mom and dad ever. Once when i was a child, i asked God to change my parents with one of my friend's parents. Her parents seems so cool, richer, bla-bla-bla. But another seconds i regret it so much. I took my prayers back and never did it again. okay, sometimes i"m not satisfied with what they done. i'm just an ordinary kid who always asked more than anything i've got. We all do, right??
I want a gold Sailormoon's card that my friend's had, i want a fancy kiddy pool, i want this and that and all. Maybe my parents can't or won't give me all of that for some reasons. i can't get it why that time, i was angry and disappointed. But i still knew somehow they'll never break me down. They're always do something cheer me up and makes me forget all those sadness by minutes.
But still they didn't give all of that easy way. I have to work on it, proofed them that i worth to received all of those things. i have to study 10 hours or more during my exams (high school) to proof that i can be the one they proud of. I wanna stand on the stage, get that bloody glassy-cup, paint a huge smile on their faces. I wanna make them proud of me. That time i did. And i didn"t get that for compliment, no. I squeeze my head for it. Until now, i still try to be one. Someone who can make them proud of what i've done.
Friends.
i have a lot of friends, well i guess. i know a lot of people and for now maybe i can call them "my friends". But best friends, i have a few of best friends. i didn't care about number here, because for me it didn't matter. Once or twice or what, i quarrelled with some people. We split up, huge ladies fight and else. i was broken and dying that time but time heals, eerr no, best friends healed me for sure. i learned a lot from that darkest hell. Sometimes we can't keep our friendship for some reasons. Maybe we're working on it, trying to make it works and stay still until we realized that it's a waste. Maybe me and them just didn't match and never be, so yaah, being away and living our life apart is the best thing we all could be done.
i'm just a human. i have tried to please everybody, trying to be nice here and there but sometimes i can't do that. I have my tired time when i just wanna be myself and i hope people understand me. Sometimes I love being alone. Maybe for some people this is damn weird, but i like that. i love when i had my free time alone, doing everything i like, treating myself as a king, and another things. well, lately i found that my kind (Taurus) are love to spend some times (hours or days) alone, enjoying their stuff. And i love having a great chat with my bestfriends. it heals me really. i have some great friends and i really really thanked God for them. it through quite a long road to figured it out so i'll never ever want to lose them for any reasons.
Love.
I'm in love. A different kind of love. Yes, i felt love before, during my junior high, high school, collage, and after. I already felt any kind of love feelings. Being loved, falling head over heels, crazy out-of-mind, pity love, or bla-bla-bla. I've been broken hearted so many times so i'm scared of falling in same old hole again. I'm a garbage can for some couples (well, i love being one. Because my bestfriends always brought me new stories that rich me day by day). Sometimes it makes me see a relationship as a big disaster, a monster. It's driving me crazy when i heard my friend having a huge fight with her bf just because a tiny things. i have no idea how to tell them that they're so lucky having someone who love and care about them anytime, anyday. i want to know how they'll deal with my "alone" day and have to take care of myself all the time. No sweet honey.
Now, i have one. Before this, i was a super naive girl who always dream about prince charming of my life. Perfect love, thousand roses, sweet things till diabetes, white castle, once a man loves you it'll be happily ever after. That easy.
But the real love thingy is far away from that. I used to blamed all Disney's Princess series which built me like this. My bf is thousand miles away from me. Some people easily said that it's my fault choosing a long distance relationship when actually i can choose another. i am not choosing candy, i mean please...Sometimes this distance kills me for sure, i'm a big-fat-liar if i say no. I have willing to kill people when i even can't hug my bf at the time i need him the most. But for me, this is worth it. He might not a super cool prince, he's not perfect, but i love him. He changed the way i'm thinking, to be a better person. I never realized it before. It is not because he changed me, it because i want to be a better person, and he supports me to be one. I know he's not perfect, so do i. And we just try to love each other perfectly. Working on all those things, pouring our hearts with those magic water, and make our loves grow stronger day by day. I love you L.
